Fear is a necessary evil.
We know fear to present itself in our lives in a multitude of ways.
We see this primordial emotion in this realm of consciousness as something to be rid of, as if somehow it's function is obsolete. I'm of a different belief.
I've been touched by fear and continue to watch as it unfurls before me, laying the groundwork for a the next step and around each corner and unchartered territory is another hurdle, threshold and beginning. Fear allows us to lay the groundwork. What I mean by this is; without fear I can't know truly where it is I need to move, I can't experience this inner turmoil and self-doubt, that pit in your stomach that almost multiplies on a cellular level, without fear I have no inner fight. Fear gives me a threshold.
Our limbic brain knows fear as the trigger that pushes us, to run from prey or to make the leap into the unknown. Life is constantly presenting emotional, spiritual and physical challenges, if we are stimulated by and accept the call to arms, we can rewire our experience.
I am all for the awareness of fear, grounding into it, but not endlessly marinating in it. Chemically, fear launches a chemical cascade that keeps you in a chronic state of hyper-alertness, turning you into a perpetual victim. Essentially, being a victim to your circumstances is comfortable, its what you do with your fear that makes it interesting. You don't need fear to fester, feeding you toxic emotions, fear need only be transitory, when you make use of its truest purpose, equanimity soon returns. Also, festering fear is trés bad for your adrenals, it will lead to a tonne of issues down the line and cost you an arm and a leg in tonic herbs.
Before I started The Alchemists, putting myself this far out there was my a fear. Plain and simple. Strangely, I had spent my whole life on stage, dancing, acting and drumming, but after being made so afraid of exposing myself (I was bullied for a good year and a half of my 11 year old. Real talk they made a Burn Book about me.), the thought of exposing myself to this degree was enough to make me retreat and get the fuck outta there. Fear doesn't promise logic.
Attempting to piece together this primal emotion will have you going in circles. For me, I adored being on stage, that adrenaline fed me in that small moment. Paradoxically, I had let the minute year of my life in primary school condition me to think that exposing myself was too much of a risk, I couldn't wear my heart on my sleeve because I'd be cut down. I had let bullying play out through various avenue; my dance teacher, my friends at the time. It was my job to surpass it, see it and step over it. Standing tall in my own strength and my authenticity proved to be one of the hardest things for me at that moment, years ago. Once I acknowledged the fear, I was able to thank it for presenting itself and move forward, past it and beyond it.
Now fear plays out in different ways, I was given a new vantage point, I was able to scale the mountain and from the other side it no longer showed the insurmountable peak, it's almost always a grassy knoll, and with that, your brain rewires itself and its no longer something that makes you scared shitless. Keep breaking the glass ceiling.
Where would the people we so admire for their courage, on this planet be if they hadn't thrown down the gauntlet? Their life purpose presented itself through seeing the fear, dancing with it and moving past it.
With that experience I can come from each new endeavour with a renewed sense of perspective, I am able to understand that fear is in itself fleeting. It was always meant to be that way.
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